
Hamster left the pet store, for Betsy Green's birthday.
But when the party ended, Mrs. Green said 'No way'.

'I know it's your birthday darling and I hate to kill the moment.
But we have a dog. We have a cat. There's no room for a rodent.'

Betsy helped Hamster pack, and they shared a good, long cry.
Then Hamster rose on her hindlegs for a hug goodbye.

'No wet eyes now Betsy, I know you're not like the others.
And if God made me a rodent, I shall go live amongst my brothers'

Hamster hiked into the suburbs, for what seemed like 20 days.
When she finally saw some squirrels, she was half a block away.

The squirrels were in a big oak, playing games of chase.
But they mocked Hamster's tail, and threw acorns in her face.

Before she could say 'Oh rats', Hamster spotted two about.
She explained her situation, can you help a sister out?

But the rats used foul language and were eating trash and waste.
'If they're indeed my family, I'm disappointed with my race'

So Hamster took up with a mouse, who was quiet, quick and bold.
She tried to stay behind him, but got stuck in a mousehole.

Then at her lowest moment, Mrs Green came unexpected.
Inviting Hamster back, but…apology not accepted!

Suburb life's the worst, what a truly crappy gig,
I'm moving to New Guinea, to be a guinea pig"